So I decided to play, "Fun with Photos" today...(yes, I'm really bored and don't really want to work on this gloomy Friday.)
I'm very relieved that tonight, Glen Perkins opens the series against the Yankees. Yes, I know the Yankees are in last place and haven't been the best team lately, but honestly if it were Boof opening the series, I wouldn't be as hopeful for a win. He seems to struggle often which never makes me happy. I think he frequently needs hugs to get him through his outings, but I'm not so sure that Joe is going to be that willing to snuggle with him constantly. Plus I think the umps would have a problem with the pitcher and catcher ALWAYS snuggling with each other. They need to devise a plan to get him through Saturdays game unscathed.
And now...as promised: "You Know You've Been to Too Many Twins Games When..."
1. You can sing, word-for-word, the Hormel hotdog song.
2. You know what inning the Hormel hotdog song happens
3. You have (your own) nicknames for players
4. You have “rituals” for certain players
5. You know the players “rituals” when they come onto the field (i.e. Joe Nathan and the Gatorade cup)
6. You have been to so many games, you can’t even remember how many you’ve been to anymore.
7. You know where they players exit after the game, and how long it takes them to leave.
8. You know how to get a players attention.
9. You know the order of when the players come out to the field to warm-up/stretch.
10. You are a woman and are determined that a certain player is your future husband, even if they are married.
11. The players know you by your scream.
12. The players nudge each other and nod when they see you in the stands.
13. The players like “the team” if you are a woman.
14. You’ve made t-shirts on your own for your favorite player.
15. You make up your own terms for things. (i.e. “Nesheking it”)
16. You blame yourself for the player not doing well because you weren’t doing your “ritual” for them. (i.e. dimples or sideburns)
17. People take pictures of you when you are doing your “rituals”.
18. You hate the All-star game because that’s just three more days the players are out of town.
19. You know what kind of car the players drive.
20. You know the players license plate numbers.
21. You know what state the license plate is for.
22. You know which of the players are married, single, or have girlfriends.
23. People like you because you have loads of information they wish they had about the Twins.
24. Your co-workers want to go to games with you because of how crazy you act at games.
25. Your co-workers give you coupons for discounted tickets, or free tickets because they know how many games you go to.
26. People wonder if you know of any other sports besides baseball.
27. Your life revolves around home games.
28. You know what day a player was called up from triple-A to take a open spot in the roster.
29. You know the pitcher rotation.
30. You know how to cheat at “Twingo” and get more than 2 cards, but you still never win!
31. You teach young children to cheer for players, and what they need to do when that player is up to bat.
32. You make signs, not to get on tv, but to get noticed by the players.
33. You sit by a players family during the game, and you know it's their family by the resemblence.
34. You know the players entrance music and frequently sing it when they come onto the field (even when the music might not be playing).
35. You have a certain outfit that you wear so you don't bring bad luck to the team with a different outfit.
36. You notice when players do things differently than they normally do.
37. You talk to your radio or tv when you can't actually be at the game, because you know the pitcher needs you to talk him through his innings and some players need encouragement when they are up to bat.
38. You yell out the nickname you gave them when you see them rather than their real name. (ie: Me yelling "Patch" at Mike Redmond)
39. You call a certain section "your section" even though you don't actually have season tickets there.
40. You know the names of the batboys and the name of the catcher that warms up the bullpen, even though they are not on the roster. (ie: Ryan, the ballboy who is REALLY fun to cheer for and Nate Dammann.)
41. You bring kids with that are "14 and under" just so you can hae a way to get the giveaways that are for 14 and under only.
42. The people at the proshop know who you are and what section you sit in.
43. You know the promotion schedule, or at least when the "good things" are being given away.
44. You know what each day of the week is referred to, and what it means for you. (ie: Mega Mountain Dew Mondays)
45. You tell the players the "team" is cheering for them, and you don't actually mean the MN Twins.
46. You desire to be the bat girl, even though you think they only have boys and you're probably too old anyway.
47. You know when to do the "horns."
48. You want to work for the Twins, even if it means washing their uniforms or helping them stretch.
49. You know what inning "potty breaks' happen and what innings they return.
50. You change the words of songs to apply to Twins players...(ie: "Bingo" singing it as "Punto")
51. You play marco polo with the players while they are on the field to try and get their attention. (ie: one person yelling "Nicky" the other, or maybe even Nick himself yelling "Punto!")
52. You ask players what they like better, HoHo's or Ding Dongs, and they think you are joking when you ask.
53. You have a "homeboy" on the team...now only by default because your original "homeboy" is no longer a Twins player.
54. When you're not sitting in "your section", you still know which player is warming up in the bullpen.
55. People ask you who a player is because you know the team so well.
56. You make friends easily at Twins games (with men) because they are so impressed that you are a girl, and can top them at information about the Twins or just about baseball in general.
57. You always keep score, in fact, you bought your own scorebook to "save money".
58. You know where the best parking lot is!
Okay, it's still a work in progress, and I KNOW there will be more insanities added by the time this season is over, but that's okay!
Enough rambling...live view of the game is next Monday and now Tuesday (thank you radio announcers for being wrong and Kevin Slowey ACTUALLY pitching on Tuesday and not Monday). I'm off.